Sex was invented in 1963 (that’s what Philip Larkin said, anyway).
Of course, we know from centuries of images and stories that people have been finding unique ways to do it for as long as there have been people.
Unique, and queer.
We’ve always been here, y’all.
But… that doesn’t mean you’ve always been here. If you’re checking out this guide to LGBTQ+ sex terms, it’s probably because you haven’t been out for long. You’re still finding your way into community and dating.
And if you don’t have experience, you may not know what you want!
So give this list of LGBTQ sex terms a once-over and see if there’s anything that sounds good to you!
Are our definitions off? What LGBTQ sex terms are we missing that our beautiful baby gays need to know? Comment below or shoot us a message at our Contact form!
Gender Non-Specific Sex
Anal Sex
Anal sex refers to the penetration of the anus with a penis, fingers, or sex toys. It’s a common practice among gay men but can also be enjoyed by people of any gender or sexual orientation. Proper lubrication and communication are crucial for comfort and safety during anal sex.
Double Penetration
This involves two objects (or a combination of a penis and a toy) penetrating one person at the same time, either in the anus and vagina (for women) or in both the anus and mouth (for men). It’s a practice that requires clear communication and consent.
Fisting
Fisting involves inserting the entire hand into a partner’s vagina or anus. This act requires lots of communication, lubrication, and care to avoid injury. It’s an advanced form of sexual intimacy that not everyone engages in, but it’s worth knowing about.
Mutual Masturbation
This refers to two partners stimulating themselves or each other simultaneously, typically without penetration. It can be a way to share sexual pleasure and intimacy without direct genital contact.
Pegging
Pegging refers to the act of a woman using a strap-on dildo to penetrate her male partner anally. This term typically comes up in heteronormative or nonbinary relationships but is also relevant for LGBTQ+ discussions, especially when considering gender dynamics in the bedroom.
Rimming
Rimming refers to the act of licking or stimulating a partner’s anus with the mouth and tongue. It’s also called analingus and can be a pleasurable experience for some people. Proper hygiene is important for safe rimming.
Strap-on Sex
This involves one partner wearing a strap-on dildo to penetrate another partner. While this can be common in lesbian relationships, it can also be used in relationships involving transgender or nonbinary people, as well as in kink or BDSM communities.
Water Sports
Also known as golden showers, this is a kink or fetish involving urination during sexual play. While not everyone is into this, it’s a common enough term in LGBTQ+ spaces to be worth mentioning.
Women/Femme-Specific Sex
Cunnilingus
The act of stimulating a partner’s vulva or clitoris using the mouth, tongue, or lips. This is common in lesbian sex but also applies to anyone with female genitalia.
Fingering
Using the fingers to penetrate the vagina or anus.
Nipple Play
Stimulating the nipples with the mouth or hands. Granted, nipple play can be arousing as foreplay for men and AMAB people, but typically more so for women and AFAB.
Scissoring (or Tribbing)
Often depicted in media, scissoring refers to a sexual act between two women where they position themselves with their legs interlocking, often grinding their vulvas together. This is also called tribbing, which comes from the term tribadism, meaning genital-to-genital contact.
Men/Masc-Specific Sex
Docking
Docking refers to a sexual act where one man’s foreskin is pulled over the head of another man’s penis, creating a skin-to-skin connection. This act typically occurs between two uncircumcised men and is usually done as a form of intimate touching rather than penetration.
Fellatio
The act of performing oral sex on a partner’s penis, commonly referred to as a blowjob.
Frotting
Also known as friction, frotting involves two men rubbing their penises together for sexual pleasure. It’s a non-penetrative sex act, which can be seen as a more intimate, mutual experience without the need for penetration.
Handjob
A handjob involves manually stimulating a partner’s penis to orgasm using the hands. This act is common in gay male relationships but can also occur in any sexual relationship.
Good Ground Rules for LGBTQ+ Sexual Intimacy
- Communication is everything: Always discuss boundaries, preferences, and comfort levels with your partner(s) before trying any new sexual activities. Consent is vital in any healthy sexual relationship.
- Safety first: Be sure to use proper lubrication and protection (such as condoms, dental dams, or gloves) depending on the act, to reduce the risk of injury or infection.
- It’s okay to say no: In this day and age, we shouldn’t have to say this, but we do – if at any point you don’t feel right doing something, stop. A responsible partner will respect your feelings.
Related:
Dating Terms for Newly-Out Gay Men
Dating Terms for Newly-Out Lesbians
